Watch these videos below.

Now, is it just me… Or did that dude with a mullet (actually it looks way more like a shullet) make the coolest thing ever?!

Why is this news? Read it, if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, you have no soul.

Denver Gamer

Jack - That’s the kind of man I need on my team, Chris. A real scrapper. A self-made man, like me. Bring this Taylor fellow to me. I want to make him my Executive Vice President.

Chris - Yes, Sir.

(Next day)Jack - Chris, I’ve just seen the most heroic dog on television. He pulled a toddler from the path of a speeding car, then pushed a criminal in front of it. Find this dog. I want to make him my Executive Vice President.

Chris - Uh, yes sir. In the meantime, here’s Elijah Taylor. (Jack stares blankly.) The self-made man?

Jack - What? Oh, yes, that fellow. Mmm, put him somewhere out of the way, and find that dog!

Chris - Yes sir.

Review

• Title: Bionic Commando
• Developer: Capcom
• Publisher: Capcom
• Platform: XBOX 360
• Genre: Action

  our score (out of 10)

9

(No ratings - Be the first to rate this product!)

 Loading ...

Buy this usedBuy this new

IT HAPPENED!!! Just like I thought it might, the split second when everything just clicks into place happened.

This game is absolutely brilliant. My friend Justin came over tonight, and he asked to see what the new Bionic Commando was like. I pretty didn’t even want to put it on, but when we were younger, the original Bionic Commando held a very special place in our hearts. I let him try it out for a minute, and of course he sucked. After he handed me the controller… It was weird, but all the moves just started coming naturally to me. Some games, will out of nowhere just grab you by the nards and say “Do you get it now, asshole?” I’m sure we’ve all experienced that, right?

The bottom line is this, if you don’t buy this game you are a fool. Sure, it has it’s control issues, but they are minor. When you hit that special moment where you start swinging like spiderman, not missing a beat, locking onto an enemy from mid-air, then kicking him in the face… Fucking A! There is nothing like it.

I know that many people think I’m an idiot for loving Too Human, but history will prove me right on that game one day. Don’t let that happen with this one. Get your ass off the couch, put on your Reeboks, and get your ass to the store… NOW!

WOW… that wasn’t funny at all.

I don’t remember these things, but it looks like a really old printer for a really old computer. Put aside the fact that you can now fit the entire NES library (and then some) onto a PSP memory stick, and marvel at this amazing piece of technology.

The Future is now!

I suppose I should have posted this on the site first, but I did everything but that.

This was the most exhausting week ever, but I can’t say it wasn’t fun putting it all together. If you guys think I’m going back to E3 next year… YOU’RE FUCKING NUTS!

Video is done, guess it’s back to work. And by work, of course I mean links.

Looks like Aliens: Colonial Marines is still in the works. If this game doesn’t end up coming out, I’m going to… Do something… Mean. Anyway, here’s the scoop

It is called E3 2009: Craptacular… Yup, we used the same name last year. I just have to do a few last minute changes and split it into 2 parts, youtube won’t let me put up anything over 10 minutes. Anyway, look for it tomorrow.

Update: Of course there is a problem! I’m trying for the 50th time to upload the E3 video to youtube, part 2 is up (don’t watch it until part 1 is up, it won’t make much sense) and I’m uploading the entire thing on facebook but it’ll be about 4 hrs.

I’ll let everyone know when all is good.

I’m back bitches! Although the video won’t be done for at least a week, keep your eyes on this page for the podcast… Which also probably won’t be done for a week.

I’ve got a few good stories to tell, most of them having nothing to do with games.

I’ve got some impressions of what I saw on the show floor, but didn’t play.

And of course Booth Babes, mostly it was about the Booth Babes. Are you really that surprised?

Oh yeah, keep checking our youtube channel for uploaded floor footage.

As long as my plane stays afloat, I’ll be in L.A. in 2 short days. Even though E3 hasn’t even started yet, things have already started going wrong.

1. Interview with Silicon Knights is not going to happen.

2. Booth Babes have pepper-sprayed me in advance for hitting on them.

3. Tried getting an interview set up with Game Arts, and here’s how that went…

MY EMAIL: Hi, My name is Jack, I’m a journalist for GamesOverGirls.Com. I’m covering E3 this year for the site, and was wondering if I could get a few minutes to interview someone from Game Arts. I’ll keep it brief, it’ll just be a quick question or two about the Lunar series.

Thanks in advance, Jack

RESPONSE:Hello, this is Game Arts.

Thank you for your e-mail. Unfortunately any person who can answer with an interview about LUNAR will attend E-3 this year. If you have any question,please give us in writing,we will get back to you as soon as possible with the answers. regards,

CENSORED NAME (to protect the innocent) Game Arts

I know I’m retarded, but didn’t I just say that I was going to be at E3, And they told me they can’t do an interview with me because… They’ll be at E3?!?!

Me confused.

I gotta stop listening to Dave Halverson. In the latest issue of PLAY magazine, Halverson praises this game as if it were Too Human. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good… Just not Van Johnson good.

Graphics: When you start out spidey slinging around a broken city, and you are looking around at the earthquake like scene… It’s just breathtaking! There’s an effect they use for switching into “first person” that makes you feel like you are really there, it constantly adjusts focus - Very cool.

Controls/Gameplay: This one’s tough, the game is good… when the controls don’t get in the way. You’ll often find yourself falling into water with nothing to latch onto to pull you out, only to find the next level has too many signs to smash into mid-swing. The actual mission are pretty cool, they’ll allow you to unlock upgrades for your weapons if you complete certain tasks.

Sound: Remixes of old NES tunes, what more could you ask for.

Multiplayer: I probably shouldn’t comment yet because I’ve only played the DEMO version of MP, but no sir, I don’t like it. I was running and swinging around like an asshole, shooting people 50 fucking times in the face, only to be killed by some douche who shot me once in the armpit… WTF!!!

Bottom Line: Wait until I update. I’d say as of right now, wait until this game is $40… But I have a feeling this might be another MGS4 - It’ll get really good after I say it sucks.

Not that anybody gives a shit, but GOG now has a fancy new Mac Pro to do all our Audio/Video projects on.

Does this mean MORE stupid videos, and MORE retarded podcasts at a rate of 70 Gigaflops per gang-rapes?! Does that even make ANY fucking sense?! Of course not. What it does mean, is that my midlife crisis is not quite over yet. After spending over 3k on a Samsuck 120hz LED TV (in a wonderful economy, mind you) I felt that another 3k+ on a new compuper was a totally reasonable idea.

It doesn’t end there folks, oh no. Like a mental patient, I looked over at the stack of games that have yet to be played, and just behind that stack… was another stack. That stack was not big enough, so I decided to go buy Bionic Commando for 360. I will not play this game, I will take it out of the wrapper and add it to the stack, then I will go buy Punchout for the Wii… and repeat the process.

What is wrong with me?

This Game Has Butt Sex: Super Mario 64…. Is FINALLY done! Hope you all like it. Now I have no excuses left for not doing new “Jack and the Snake” episodes. Sigh… Guess I’ll get to work on it

Update: ooops, no sound. I’ll have it fixed in a jiffy.

Another Update: Fixed!!!

GamesOverGirls very own Jacko is heading for E3 next week. If you are heading out that way please give him a shout.. You should be able to find him drooling over the booth babes..

In all seriousness Jack will be conducting some exclusive interviews, getting some exclusive content up here, and hopefully scoring some awesome swag from the vendors

Check back here next week for some great exclusive content!

This makes me so happy.

After the “Dick-in-the-eye” that was Lunar: Dragon Song, I would’ve bet my bottom dollar that tomorrow, we’d be fucked. But never say never my friends, Lunar is coming back! Rebuilt from scratch, made for the PSP, from Game Arts too! Expect the same story, but with a few additions here and there.

Lunar: Harmony of Silver Star does NOT have a U.S. release date yet… Let’s hope they give us conformation soon. Wait, E3 is right around the corner. Seems like the perfect time for an announcement, no? Here’s another pic to make the wait a little more unbearable.

Now stop fucking around, and get to work on Lunar 3!!!

Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete - Review